Dressing the part.
Horny and thorny fashion and film.
My aim is to write at least monthly on here but I’ve slacked appallingly recently due to work travels. Please accept my delay and apology. Travel always inspires me but I find I can’t think beyond the newness of it all until I’m back at home, sat before my laptop at the kitchen table. No place like home eh? It’s only after sleeping off the jet lag and long days (queue strings section) and a large glug of strong English Breakfast tea that I can gather my thoughts.
So here I am back again drinking tea, thinking and tapping.
Fashion week/month felt particularly exciting this season, maybe because the newly appointed carousel of designers at the major houses has swung to a firm stop? They’ve had a chance to break into their new shoes, the blister plasters have worn off and they’re striding forward confidently. The confidence is catching and we’re lapping it up.
But before I get stuck into FW26 and beyond, I’d like to first turn to the streets for thoughts on style.
Recently I’ve been nodding to the £££ fashion houses via the £ high street. I’m trying my best at reinterpretating Miuccia Prada by adding belts over shorts/skirts, (bravely) swapping tights for socks and layering shirts under polos which is a great solution to late winter/early spring temperatures. If ever you’re struggling with how to do layers, may I suggest watching Prada’s FW26 show where each of the 15 models wore four layered looks. Each time they came down the runway, each model had removed another layer. A simple but genius way to present a collection. This is how real women dress after all — ready for all weathers and occasions. I could write a lot about this concept but I want to get to the thorny and hornyness of it all.
I’ve donned patent Chanel pumps by way of the Mango sale. Two very chic women I work with also have them so I figure I’m in good company.
Mango's Western twist on an obi belt is currently in my shopping basket. Fashion people keep talking about the return of Western in fashion. My response is that of a shy crab making a French exit. At the mere sight of suede fringing and cowboy boots my skin begins to itch and all I can hear is Woody from Toy Story’s irritating twang. I can smell the dank waft of Rokit, the vintage store I religiously visited in my teens pre-parties and festivals. Tragique. Western fashion is too barn dance, too Coachella for me, but this Mango belt is more utilitarian than cowgirl. I’m more likely to whip out my secateurs than gun fingers from it and that suits me just fine.
I’m happy to look at but not touch the y2k low slung jeans with ballet pumps trend. I keep seeing Gen Z girlies in a grey wash denim, paired with some sort of trucker/round neck motorcycle jacket, completed with a dainty, round toe Tory Burch pump. Snaps to the young huns for transforming the Tory Burch ladies into ladettes. Why don’t I attempt this style today? I did it the first time around, but with way worse make up than they have now. My low rise/pump/leather jacket era is over along with my Barry M glittery eyeliner, Natural Collection concealer, St Ive’s apricot scrub, Clearasil wipes, Britney Spears Fantasy perfume and Nivea pearlescent pink lip balm wearing era. TTFN.
Speaking of make up, recently upon exiting Oxford Circus station I was shooketh to see the great stonking IKEA and Space NK stores that have now replaced what was once fashion mecca flagship Topshop and Miss Selfridge. The prime real estate stores say so much about society now, what we’re emotionally and financially invested in— that is houseplants, draw dividers and active serums. If ever you need proof that Gen Z are drinking less and having less sex this is it. Sad face :(.
But hopefully Emerald Fennell’s “Wuthering Heights” and Ryan Murphy’s Love Story is helping to bring the latter back. Film and fashion are horny and thorny right now. See Kate Moss’s shagathon inducing walk for Demna Gvasalia’s Gucci. I’m not a lover of sequin gowns-too itchy, too smelly for my taste but there’s no question this look is pure sex on legs.
Whether you have a tendency for drama (Cathy) or are edging on the cagey side (Carolyn), the two C’s can handily dress both of your mood swings. Go to Cathy for maximalism or Carolyn for minimalism, take your pick. They’re also great lessons in dating. The two C’s remind us to never return to an ex and do sneak into the party/ball. I don’t think love should ever be that hard but then again I’ve never dated a superstar nor lived an 1800s female experience. Thank f***.
Both love stories follow an alarmingly attractive but doomed couple in a rags-to-riches tragic tale but good god do they look good in them. There’s a deep yearning at the centre of both of their love stories and it got me thinking about yearning in modern dating and relationships. Have we lost the urge to yearn in our overly communicative and accessible world? One thing I know for certain is that both designers and the world at large yearn for Cathy and Carolyn’s wardrobe. Both wardrobes share a horny and thorniness. They’re a little aloof, untouchable and intimidating but they’re also spicy, sexy and hella alluring.
We found modern day inspired Cathy looks in the FW26 collections via Issey Miyake’s holier than thou corsetry, Sandy Lliang’s bows and Erdem’s embroidery. I imagine her fanning herself front row at the shows before sweet talking Mr Earnshaw that she must have it all.
I’m quite bored of the negative reaction to the “Wuthering Heights”. No it’s nothing like the book and frankly thank goodness. Emerald’s adaptation is exactly what she does best — it’s frightening, perverse, so beautiful it’s ugly; compliments I would also pay to my girl Charli XCX. Her album and soundtrack for the film delivered. It’s eery, head banging, heart throbbing and crucially good enough to listen to sans film.
“Wuthering Heights” is exactly the sort of film you should dish out 20 quid for to experience on the big screen. It’s a feast for the eyes and we are all insatiable. The adaptation made $83 million in its opening weekend (over Valentines, snaps) at the global box office. Phwoar. Safe to say Emerald and Margot are laughing their way to the bank. For all the haters of the film out there may I direct you to Alice Hare’s delicious rebuttal. She’s a stylist by trade but could easily pass off as a film critic and a best dressed one at that.
Hair and make up often falls second place to costume but in “Wuthering Heights” they came joint first. As someone who spends a disproportionate amount of time in a hair and make up chair tensing my left and then right butt cheek again and again to relieve numbness, I don’t often envy actors outlandish hours in their hair and make up trailers, but boy would I have loved to have sat in hair and make up designer Sian Miller’s chair every morning and watch the magic unfold. Corset ties in my hair? Yes please. Stencilled aluminium starred eyes? Whack them on immediately.
All bow down to costume designer Jacqueline Durran’s lascivious threads for “Wuthering Heights”. I am so unbelievably envious of Margot Robbie, not least because of all the snogging but because of the 50 (FIFTY?!) outrageous costumes she got to wear (she wore a tonne in Barbie too. Both films were produced by Margot’s production company LuckyChap Entertainment. The woman understands the importance of costume).
Margot is an expert in marketing too. Throughout the films press tour, Margot’s stylist Andrew Mukamel bled Cathy’s horny and thorny gothic drama onto the all too often very dry dressing on the red carpet. I thoroughly enjoyed reading Derek Blasberg’s Substack that toyed with the pros and cons of ‘Stunt Dressing’ for the red carpet. One persons’ Halloween costume is another awards ceremony dress. I’m here for the campness of it all. In the age of social media and likes correlating to box office success, who can blame celebrities for walking straight off set straight and straight onto the red carpet?
We’re post awards season and the red carpet looks have been abysmally boring. Thank goodness for Jessie Buckley’s Maison Margiela horny look for The Bride London premiere. She is at the epicentre of a moment right now and I’ve got a major girl crush on her, especially in that sensual gown and structured bodice. No notes. It’s perfection. Celebrities take note, this is how you do ‘barely there’ dressing well.
Pedro Pascal’s thorny Chanel Oscars look won my heart also. Timeless, fabulous and a reminder that a floral corsage is always a good idea.
Ok so if Cathy embodies your horny teenage wardrobe fantasy then Carolyn’s thorny style is the woman you want to be when you grow up, aka chic af in all bitchy black. Carolyn is corporate-core meets quiet luxury and you can bet she would hate these reductive hot takes.
My phone is ablaze with paparazzi shots of the Kennedy clan style and I’m here for it. Here’s a selection of looks that live rent free in my head.
Ryan Murphy’s Love Story is fashion history heaven. Heavy on Brooks Brothers, Calvin Klein, Prada and Yojhi Yamamoto, Carolyn Bessette Kennedy and JFK Junior encapsulated the ease of American style in the very best way. Together they are the epitome of American style that isn’t just sporty or commercial, or wearable (in other words basic) as we so often see today, but actually cool. The key to nailing their style? Impeccable grooming and a monochromatic palette. Yes they might just be in a simple black knit, but the knit is 100% cashmere and the glossy mane shining above it is blow dried weekly. It looks simple but it’s out of your budget. Here’s hoping that Love Story marks the return of suits and weekday date nights.
Take my word for it, grown women don’t want to go on a date after a long, hard day at work with someone wearing athleisure or god forbid a gilet. Where do they think they’re going? What on earth are they preparing for? You’re not a P.E teacher or going on a Duke of Edinburgh expedition. You’re walking to the tube on a very mild day before spending nine hours in a very comfortable office, so for crying out loud dress the part. There’s no need for zips and hoods and all-weather proof garb. Call me old fashioned but I’m a sucker for a sexy suit. Also I love how it allows for different clothes throughout the week. Weekday=uniform, weekend=mufty. More choice thereby more fun if you ask me. You just need a walk in wardrobe to accommodate for it all. Perhaps too much to ask for my shoebox sized flat…
I like to imagine Carolyn would approve of these FW26 looks from the safety of their Tribeca loft whilst tossing her hair and puffing away at a ciggy.
These skirt suits got me thinking about the vintage Escada suit I tried on in my favourite vintage store in LA, Arcade. The reason why I didn’t buy it? The skirt is alarmingly similar to my school 6th form uniform. Shoulda woulda coulda bought it.
When on a recent very sad and mad dash to a depressingly large and empty shopping mall on the outskirts of Boston to buy an emergency outfit (the shoot was delayed thanks to the blizzard), I tried to squeeze my trotters into Tory Burch’s quite Carolyn court shoes. Safe to say I left empty handed. Cinderella is not going to the ball.
I did however finally cave and purchase a personalised L.L. Bean tote. Is it Carolyn or is it cheugy? My head was all over the place at this point. I was wandering down snow laden highways in a desperate attempt to access food. When I finally got my frozen mitts on a frozen burrito from Walmart (yuck) I then perused the book aisles but could only find variations on the Bible and J.D. Vance’s Hillbilly Elegy. Fresh hell, pardon the pun.
Cathy collided with Carolyn when Margot stepped out in an all black look at JFK airport earlier this year. The sunnies are SIR, shoes Alaïa, bag Chanel obvs (she’s been a Chanel ambassador for the past 8 years) and the fit is Beare Park. All are sold out for us mere mortals. Sigh. I love her commitment to Aussie brands though, she should be on the Australian tourism board.
More thoughts on airport style…
I had to try these Brat style Gucci sunglasses in Heathrow Terminal 5 and loved that they were £365. Gucci is this some kind of sick and fabulous joke? To quote Charli, “I love it”.
But back to Love Story, JFK Junior inspired slouchy and effortless tailoring was all over the FW26 catwalk.
When it comes to dressing for my own part, as a part time florist I’m feeling really original and am currently drawn to florals, but not in a sickening ditsy print way, I mean real life florals. My wardrobe is beginning to resemble my early morning purchases from New Covent Garden flower market. As cliché as this sounds, I’m not the only one wearing my heart on my sleeve. Designers consistently return to flowers in their designs for they’re an unwavering symbol of hope and a steady reminder of change. Just don’t expect dizzy repeat patterns, this time around florals are bold emblems.
A.W.A.K.E Mode’s ruffled back reminds me of the intricately folded bowls florists favour for easy arranging. I want to dip single stems into the back of this dress in the least creepy way possible.
Same too does Michael Rider’s Celine stiff scarf remind me of floral wrapping. Must copy this structure soon in my next bouquet. Apologies to the model here but I want to smother his face in blooms.
Bravo to The Vxlley for going full flower vase hog. This collection was every florists dream.
Designer’s closing bridal looks always titillate my floral desires. I loved Vaquera’s gypsophila and Andreas Kronthaler’s radishes for Vivienne Westwood bouquets.
I of course can’t discuss florals in fashion without mentioning Jonathan Anderson at Dior. I much preferred his Spring 26 Couture collection (still bopping to the Max Richter soundtrack) than his FW26. FW26 felt too confused, disjointed, like he got lost in the couture atelier Chocolate factory and wanted to show off what they could do rather than designing clothes that women actually want to wear (queue Matthieu Blazy’s Chanel, Michael Rider’s Celine, Louise Trotter’s Bottega Veneta and Sarah Burton’s Givenchy) but I hate to poo poo designers, especially those at enormous powerhouses. It’s a supremely stressful and complicated role that takes time to revise and reestablish, time that most designers don’t get enough of for they are hired and fired faster than football coaches. My heart goes out to Dario Vitale who only got one season at Versace before Prada strategically ousted him-thorny fashion indeed. Let’s hope he gets another opportunity elsewhere to thrive beyond one season.
But back to Jonathan, whilst his most recent collection might not have been my cup of tea, there’s no denying that he is a master of building a brand. No designer understands and talks about the power of branding and marketing like him. Listen to his interview with Imran Ahmed on the BOF podcast to understand his genius. But oh his flowers! They adorned ceilings for his Spring 26 couture show, they floated along Monet Giverny garden inspired waters for his FW26 show and clung to accessories and clothing galore.
Here’s my hand picked/tied collection of thorny but more affordable fashion:
Sandy Lliang spring onion dress
Lisa Says Gah tulip bouquet corset and skirt
So there you have it. Wear black, wear florals, channel Carolyn or Cathy. Dress the part and be horny and/or thorny.